Youth Counselling

She says that it’s just an attraction

I am a student of Std XII. I like a girl and she also likes me but whenever I propose to her she says that she only wants to be my friend. When I tell her that I love her, she says that it’s just an attraction and not love.
Kevin

Dear Kevin,

You are quite attracted to this girl, and it is a great start if you both like each other.

Love is like chemistry and begins with attraction — one or both people might feel attracted — and a bond is formed. But for the bond to be lasting and to turn into real love, it needs the glue of friendship. So, do take the opportunity to be friends, for she wants to be your friend! And here is the paradox — act quickly to be friends but be slow and steady about “love” — for love needs time to deepen.

While you may not know whether the friendship will turn into a relationship, making friends is the surest way to find out. However, if one person is attracted to another, it doesn’t mean that the other has to reciprocate. So, even after being friends, if she is not interested, respect it. Don’t be disheartened for you still stand to gain a good friend. Focus on getting to know each other; enjoy discovering your similarities and differences and drop the pressure of ‘proposing’.

More articles

Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.

Nasreen Hashambhoy

Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.