I am in Class X and I have a friend who has a keen interest in K-pop rapping. I have seen her practising really hard and she has even won some music competitions recently but because of all this she has started neglecting her studies and has failed in mostly all the subjects. When I try to advise her and help her she talks to me very rudely and tells me that I should mind my own business. Now she is even ignoring me. I am afraid that she might not be able to perform well in the Class X board exams. Should I help her or discontinue our 4-year-old friendship?
It is wonderful that you are truly concerned about your friend and how she will fare in her exams.
Your friend’s passion for K-pop rapping may be taking her away from studies, but it is only when she realises that it is having a negative effect that she will wake up. Even though she has not done well at studies, she does not see that anything is wrong. That is why she is getting angry with you even though you are trying to be helpful.
At this time, just be a normal friend to her and talk about all the other things you usually discuss. You can, if you like, ask her about her passion and interest in K-pop, and whether she plans to make it a career, but do not advise her. As a friend, tell her that you are there for her if she needs someone to talk to, and that you have her best interests at heart. This way, neither are you trying to ‘help’ where you are not wanted, nor are you ending a friendship that means a lot to you.
Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.