Bob's Banter

The spirit of Christmas

Baby Jesus lying in the manger

For many of us, the month of December is that of revelry, fun and parties!

Getting drunk, and getting high!

And for those of us with such a picture, allow me to present mine: I picture a tippler leaving a bar, swaying from side to side. It is the Christmas season and he feels it is reason enough to go home drunk. He sways to the door, and a taxi driver greets him, “Taxi, sir?”

“Yes, I am filled with spirits, hic, hic. I cannot walk, hic, lead me to your taxi!”

“Come sir, come into my taxi and let me tell you of the Spirit of Christmas!”

“I already know about spirits,” says the drunk as he sprawls on the seat, “I have taken a lot of it from the bottle today!”

“Ah, sir,” says the taxi driver, a twinkle in his eye, “It was to get rid of having to rely on that spirit of the bottle that the first Christmas happened more than two thousand years ago!”

“I… I don’t need the bottle?”

“No, sir, the baby born in a manger, the little boy child called Jesus came to fill you with something different. Tell me, why are you drunk, sir?”

“Why am I drunk, hic?” asks his passenger, “Why am I drunk? I am drunk because I want to feel happy! I am drunk because my life has reached a point of no return, I feel frustrated and weak!”

“Sir, you are crying!”

“I cry, because I am lonely. Nobody wants to listen to me!”

And in my picture, the taxi suddenly rises in the air.

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Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist with an estimated readership of 6 million. He also conducts a short-term writer’s course. Contact him at bobsbanter@gmail.com for more details.

Robert Clements

Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist with an estimated readership of 6 million. He also conducts a short-term writer’s course. Contact him at bobsbanter@gmail.com for more details.