Youth Counselling

They always compare me with other students

I am the eldest child of my parents and very good in studies, but my parents expect more from me and I am not able to do that. They always compare me with other students. I feel sad that I am not able to live up to their expectations. Are there any other ways I can make them happy? I just want to make my parents proud because I love them a lot.
Simran (13)

Dear Simran,

It is wonderful that you love your parents a lot. Yet you are sad that you cannot live up to their expectations and feel hurt that they compare you with other students.

Looks like you and your parents need to communicate and understand each other more.

You say that you are “very good in studies” but that your parents “expect more” from you. What exactly do they expect? Have you confronted them about it? What is it that you are “not able to do”? Ask for their guidance to achieve what you need to. And if you are truly unable to achieve it, you need to let them know that you can’t or that you need their help.

In what way do they “compare you with other students”? Have you let them know that you feel bad when they do so? Let your parents know that just like every person, you too are unique and different. Discover your uniqueness by writing your strengths, weaknesses, goals, and dreams, and by participating in as many activities as you can and making friends. Most of all, enjoy what you do. It is important that you discover and live up to your own expectations.

You want to make your parents happy and proud of you, but the reality is that no one can ‘make someone else happy’. You need to be happy yourself. When you are happy and use all your talents, your parents will surely be happy.

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Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.

Nasreen Hashambhoy

Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.