Youth Counselling

He is twelve years older than me

I love a man who is 12 years older than me. I know him since childhood as he is my relative. But I’ve never interacted with him before. He is a photographer and nobody accepts his profession as they feel it has no dignity. He is very responsible and diligent and is taking care of his family alone as his father is no more. My uncle thinks that this is an infatuation but I know this is love. The truth is that I never liked him before; I have never thought of him as my life-partner before. When I start chatting with him on Facebook I came to know that he has a very beautiful heart and our thinking is the same. He is very serious about life and work. He is somewhat broken by situations but he never discusses his problems with me clearly. I am really concerned about him; now his problems have become my problems. I want to give him all the happiness in life. His family likes me and he too likes me or I should say he loves me too. We never have meetings like girlfriend and boyfriend. He thinks that I am too young for him and he doesn’t deserve me. He thinks I could get a guy of my age and ten times better than him because he says he doesn’t have his own house, and is 12 years older than me. He thinks I won’t be happy with him. What should I do? How can I convince others that this is not infatuation?
Sahiba (18)

Dear Sahiba, at the age of 18 you feel that you are in love with a relative who is 12 years older than you. Chatting with him on Facebook you felt that your “thinking is the same”. The problem is that: “he never discusses his problems with me clearly” and is “broken by situations” which you do not know. So far he has not been able to “have his own house” and find a partner in life. He is convinced that you won’t be happy with him. I do not know what your parents are thinking about this situation; did you discuss this matter with them? Take seriously into consideration the opinion of your own family and of other relations who know this man well before taking any further step in the relationship. I personally feel that you do not really know this man sufficiently in depth and you will be at risk if you marry him.

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Dr Anthony Grugni, MD, was associated with The Teenager Today for nearly three decades in the capacity of youth counsellor.

Dr Anthony Grugni, MD

Dr Anthony Grugni, MD, was associated with The Teenager Today for nearly three decades in the capacity of youth counsellor.