Youth Counselling

We follow different religions

I love a guy and he too loves me. We follow different religions and customs, but we have accepted this. Is this relationship right with all these social differences? Is this love or plain teenage attraction? All I know is that I like him and he likes me.
Ronita (15)

Dear Ronita,

You like this guy, but you seem to have doubts as to whether you will be able to adjust to religious and social differences, a doubt that is very valid and well picked up by you.

There are examples of all kinds — those where partners adjust to and accept each other’s religious differences; others where one partner gives up his/her religion and customs to adjust to another; and those where the differences are too many and partners break up.

While the goal of all religions is the same, the paths are many. The reality is that these differing paths and their customs can be quite challenging to adjust to, especially if they are very different from our own. Finally, success depends on a couple’s choice, the ability to work through differences and find common ground. For this, each person must first know what they are willing to adjust to and what is unacceptable to them. And then work through differences by communicating openly and respecting each other’s choices. Else it is best to move on.

You are still young and have a long way to go before getting into a committed relationship. Take your time and get to know each other and your families before you commit to the relationship. So, at present, enjoy your teens and the special friendship you share. Whether this is love or plain teenage attraction, time will surely tell.

Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.

Nasreen Hashambhoy

Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.