You complete you

I won’t blame the sceptical warning bell going off inside your mind simply upon reading the title. I’ll admit, the title does waver on the dangerous side of self-help, but I assure you, that is the last thing I mean to put across.

It was while watching the movie Jerry Maguire for the eleventh time that realization dawned on me. The swoonworthy catchphrase, “You complete me,” evoked a very different response in me. I was quite alarmed. I checked the mirror, for my ear, my eye, my arm. Nope, still there. How was I, then, not complete? That’s the first time I began to question the belief that another human being is required in order for you to be ‘complete’, and free to live your life as you want it, because, before that, you are simply searching. Your existence is void of any meaning, only because you have not yet found another person to augment your worth.

But you were not born with only one eye, one leg or one arm. Then why do you deem yourself incomplete? It is quite normal to desire companionship, but a complete dependence on the idea of another person making you ‘whole’ is significantly flawed. Because, obviously, some relationships might end up well, some others might end badly, or maybe you’re still Facebook friends, and “all’s well that ends well”, but the one relationship you’ll always have, is the one you already have with yourself. Of course, we, as human beings, are predisposed to socialize, but self-actualisation takes a backseat when your life is nothing short of a never-ending wait, a life spent in anticipation of finding your soulmate.

But this seems to find its root in the insecurity nursed by men and women alike. It is the desperate cry for validation that compels you to reach out, to find a hand to hold. It’s like we need someone to constantly remind us that we matter. We’ve slowly convinced ourselves that we’ll only ever be happy once we’ve walked down the metaphorical aisle.

“But are you not complete in who you are, who you aim to be? Your achievements, your dreams form you. Another person is not the final piece in the puzzle that is you.”

But are you not complete in who you are, who you aim to be? Your achievements, your dreams form you. Another person is not the final piece in the puzzle that is you.

The best way is to assume. Make the simple assumption that there is no person, no circumstance, that is going to make you more whole than you already are.

Because you are complete as you are. Those ‘puzzle pieces’ are secondary. You don’t need anyone to make you whole. You complete you.