Youth Counselling

I want to confess my love

Last year, I don’t know why but my friends started to tease me with this guy even before I had feelings for him. Then something happened. After a couple of months I recognized that I had feelings for him. He was my school senior. I started talking to him on a social networking site and we became really good friends. His pre-boards results came out which weren’t that good and he was upset. I asked him to deactivate his account so that he could concentrate on his studies, and he did it. I was happy. A month later, he activated his account again. We started chatting, but a few days before my birthday he deactivated his account. He didn’t even wish me. The next day he wished me and apologized. I was happy. One day, my friend teased him and asked him whether he loved me but he didn’t deny or accept. In June, his results weren’t good and so he deactivated his account and since then I haven’t seen or chatted with him. I want to confess my love to him but what if he doesn’t love me and breaks our friendship? What should I do?
Nikita (14)

Dear Nikita, in just a few months you have quickly jumped from one emotion to another: from “having feelings” for that boy to “talking to him on a social networking site” and becoming “really good friends” to wanting “to confess” your “love to him” and feeling depressed by the idea that he may not love you and may break your friendship. At the age of 14 you are running too fast and confusing the need for friendship, common to all teenagers, with what adults call “love”, which is a deep commitment between a man and a woman to establish a permanent relationship. This kind of commitment is not possible at your age. The consequences have been bad for that boy because “his pre-boards results weren’t good” and a few months later again “his results weren’t good and so he deactivated his account”. You are presently confused and depressed. My advice is that you too should concentrate on your studies and allow him to concentrate on his own, without disturbing him with unnecessary emotional feelings. He seems to want that too, as recently “he deactivated his account” and you “haven’t seen or chatted with him”. Leave him in peace.

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Dr Anthony Grugni, MD, was associated with The Teenager Today for nearly three decades in the capacity of youth counsellor.

Dr Anthony Grugni, MD

Dr Anthony Grugni, MD, was associated with The Teenager Today for nearly three decades in the capacity of youth counsellor.